When it comes to anxiety and its symptoms, we all want them to go away as fast as possible. We would pay any money to be free of them. We ask everyone and anyone who had anxiety in the past to seek for a magic advice that we can use to feel better right away. We search the internet for that one pill or one program that would help us to function normally again, quickly. We would hunt for the reassurance from people or the internet for that quick relief. The one thing nearly all of us DO NOT want to do is to WAIT.
But in reality, all we have to do is NOTHING and be PATIENT. Unfortunately, as human, we naturally do the complete opposite. We try to do EVERYTHING we can, and we want the result RIGHT NOW. We would follow advice that people give us to the T, but what we do wrong is that right after implementing the advice, we start scanning our body to see if the symptom has gotten better or if it’s gone yet. And by scanning and checking, with the symptom being present still, we expose ourselves to disappointment and dissatisfaction. Not finding immediate results adds more stress and tension. Anxiety consumes additional stress and becomes stronger. Stronger anxiety produces stronger and more frequent symptoms. We then declare that the advice you were given is not working.
I want you to compare your symptom to a broken bone.
Imagine you are walking into your doctor office and ask him to heal your bone right away. You ask your doctor to give you a “trick”, a “tip” or an “advice” that you can implement so that your broken bone can heal tomorrow. He would look at you like you’re crazy, wouldn’t he? But you would never ask him those kinds of questions because you know it takes time for the broken to heal. You would put up with all the pain and discomfort that the broken bone gives you. You would accept the limitations that it puts on your life. You put up absolutely no fight and no pressure with your broken bone. You patiently wait for it to heal with full acceptance.
Why can’t you give your anxiety the same understanding and acceptance? Your nerves need as much time to desensitize as a broken bone needs to heal. The process of burning off adrenaline and nerves desensitizing take time and it can never happen if you keep adding stress and extra adrenaline on to it.
I often get asked by the people who I’ve coached these questions:
“I have accepted my anxiety; how come I still have symptoms”
Answer: Symptoms will be around for a while as your body burns off adrenaline and your nerves desensitize. So, eventually your symptoms will get less intense and less frequent, WITH ONE CONDITION that you don’t add more stress into it by stressing and being impatient.
Live with your symptoms as how you would live with a broken bone. Be gentle and patient with it. Trust that pain and discomfort are part of the healing process. Accept that everyone heals differently so if you have symptoms that others didn’t have or if you have a symptom that you didn’t have before, just blend in with them and do not fight them. Your anxiety is like a raging fire, but all fires eventually burn out. Wanting to feel great right away, seeking for reassurance, expecting results and struggling with symptoms will only add more fuel into that burning fire.
You can’t walk normal with a cast on your leg. You can’t participate in life fully with a broken leg. You will though once it’s healed. Same with anxiety and its symptoms. Let them be there, live with them and accept that your life could be temporary limited a little bit. But once your mind and nerves are healed, sky will be the limit.
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